Today, we are quite distant from life that our ancestors had in Poland. It is quite interesting to hear, that for those that lived in villages there was pre-engagement period that took time before the official engagement. Often, families that had children that were ready for marriage, painted their house window shades and frames around windows with blue paint. That way everyone in the village would know that the family wants to give their son or daughter away. Since there wasn't any match maker other than your family and closest friends, it didn't seem that bad of an idea to meet a couple available strangers.
Engagement itself was a very official, joyful event that let both families to meet each other closer. Man always came to the house were the woman lived with her family. He was accompanied by his family, closest friends and musicians. In past he used to bring bread, salt and vodka to show his respects and also show the bride's family that he will be a good provider for his future family. Before the ring became standard, both woman's and man's hands were placed on the bread and father of the bride gave young couple a blessing for their future life together. Later on in history, just as today, the future husband had a ring that was presented to his future bride. The ring was blessed by witnesses or father of the bride before it was put on his fiance's finger, that way young engaged couple was supposed to have a better luck in their future. The ring was supposed to be made out of high quality metal, as gold or platinum. Silver wouldn't be good enough and it was questioned by the bride's family. The only stone that was accepted was a diamond. Pearls always meant tears and worries. If the requirements were met, good ring was symbolizing the long lasting of the relationship. After the couple made promises to each other, family discussed details and the rest of people celebrated. If the engagement was broken (and it needed to be a reason that was commonly accepted), the ring was always kept by a woman. Taking the ring back meant bad luck for the man.
Today, obviously those traditions are not as celebrated as they once were. However it is well accepted by the family of the bride, if a man asks her family for her hand before he actually makes the official engagement to the woman herself. That way he shows his respects and makes sure that he is welcomed by her family. It is also not uncommon for the official engagement to take place in in a presence of entire family. Boys one advice to you - don't be strangers when you're marring into a Polish family!
Picture of the bread is taken by Foto Stryjowski.
No comments:
Post a Comment